Sunday, August 10, 2008

What my shopping cart taught me



So this past week has been filled with lots of new things and many "firsts" for us. I could write about many of them and I'm sure I will in the future, but there is one that stood out in my mind. As the kids and I entered one of the grocery stores in the area, Wyatt was immediately drawn to the fun shopping carts they had--brightly colored with fun kid seats in them. As Wyatt asked, "Mommy, can we take this cart?" I noticed that these were shopping carts unlike any I have ever seen before. They had the kids' seats down in front and were fully equipped with a TV screen inside. I immediately said, "No Wyatt, lets just take this cart that looks like a racecar and you and Sadie can pretend to drive."
Wyatt didn't put up much of a fuss and complied and our shopping trip went fine. But the next time we went in, he asked again. This time is was about 5pm--the store was busy, my kids were getting hungry, and I needed to make this trip as quick as possible. So I said we could take the "TV cart" and we got to pick between watching Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder, and Clifford. The kids watched Thomas as I was able to wuickly grab the things I needed and get in line.
But I noticed the looks I got from some other parents. Ok, maybe I didn't really get looks and I just imagined them, but nonetheless I felt like a bad parent. I felt like the mom who uses the TV to babysit her kids--something I said I would never do. And I have prided myself on the fact that my kids rarely watch TV and when I do let them watch it, it doesn't even hold their attention for longer than 15 minutes or so. People seeing me in the store probably thought that I let my kids sit in front of the television all day so that I could do what I need to do. Then I realized that other people probably weren't giving me those looks at all but they were my own looks coming back at myself. Hopefully I don't convey this attitude to other people, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think these things. And it made me realize how judgemental I can be--and how much I don't want to be! You can never truly make an accurate judgment on a situation until you've been in the exact same situation as someone else--which rarely happens. You may see a mother (like myself) put her two kids in a shopping cart with a TV in front of them and it may be the only time they watch TV or maybe they watch 5 hours of TV a day. It may be a reward for the kids or it may be part of their routine. It may make shopping easier for the mother who has had a horrific day with her kids and allows her to destress and calm herself down before they get back in to the car.
So whether or not anyone thought anything of me putting my kids in front of a television for our shopping trip or not, it really made me rethink my thoughts on what other people do. Different people have different experiences and different challenges to face---therefore, the results are different.
Isn't it amazing how simple things like shopping carts can teach such profound life lessons?

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