Ok...So I know the first day of school happened almost 2 months ago, but I'm not gonna let the fact that I am so far behind keep me from getting caught up--or attempting to do so! The first day of school is always exciting, nerve-wracking, fun and a bit scary, but this year was even more of all those things with the kids being at a new school.
They have to wear uniforms at their new school, so picking out outfits for the first day of school wasn't too difficult. When I announced that morning at breakfast that it was the first day of school (which I thought was stating the obvious), Blake broke down crying!
I said, "Blake, you get to be with me all day! Just you and I!"and this seemed to only make it worse....
"I don't want Wyatt and Sadie to go! I don't want to be with you all day!"
You can see the teary eyes of Blake in these pics
This kid is getting too tall for me to bend over and take a picture with him!
And this guy certainly didn't want to be left out---plus he needed the extra tlc.
And although Sadie does enjoy wearing her uniform, she always finds ways to add her own personal touch!
Wyatt wanted to show off the new backpack he got this summer up in Minocqua when we went to the pro wakeboard show (Foxhead is a brand of wake boards as well as snowmobiles, surf gear, etc)
Wyatt at his desk---LOTS of new faces for him but he did know two kids in his class prior to school starting
Sadie and her classmate Jasmine (Jasmine's family goes to our church as well and the girls were in Sunday school all last year together but we never realized that she went to New Life Academy until the week before school started...there's also a girl in Sadie's class that had been in her BSF group with her for the last 4 years--so thankful for familiar faces on the first day!)
The kids started school on the Tuesday after Labor Day and Blake started gymnastics and swimming that same day. So after we took the kids to school, we headed over to the gym....
Ready for his first day of gymnastics at a new gym and a new swimming teacher
I took this picture the following week....Blake goes to Mom's Day Out at New Life on Wednesdays for the full day and we call that his 'school'. He loves going to school where Wyatt and Sadie both go and finally gets to use his little backpack for his own stuff!
But even by Friday afternoon, Sadie was exhausted and quite sad to be leaving me all day. I knew that she would be tired from being in school all day, every day (since we had the luxury of half-day kindergarten last year), but I was not anticipating how much she would miss me and be sad to be away from me! She is by far my most social child, yet we are realizing more and more how much she enjoys spending time with me and the comfort that comes when I am around.
She did have occasions last year where she didn't want to go to school because she wanted to stay with me, but since it was only half-day kindergarten, we usually got through it ok and I always told her it wouldn't be for long (it was more prevalent towards the end of the week when she was getting tired).
When Sunday rolled around and we were getting ready for bed, laying the kids' clothes out and what not, Sadie started to get really sad and cry, saying "I don't want to go to school. I want to stay home." and she got more and more worked up. I chalked it up to the adjustment that comes from a new school and finally got her to sleep. But her nerves woke her up repeatedly throughout the night and she kept crying, "I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go." She woke up before 6am the next morning, already in a panic over having to go to school. I wasn't sure where this was all coming from, but I did get her to school and walked her in and said goodbye through her tears. Sure enough I got a call from the nurses office later in the morning saying that Sadie's tummy was hurting her. I knew this was all from her anxiety about school but couldn't place where it was coming from. This was my girl who is usually so happy and excited about school and loves to be around people.
The next three days progressed in similar fashion--Sadie wasn't eating much, wasn't sleeping well (waking up multiple times at night) and each day I dropped her off at school was getting progressively worse. On Thursday morning, she was clinging on to my arms so tightly that I had to have her teacher help pull her off of me---talk about gut wrenching!! I tried having lunch with her school to help her get through the day but that only seemed to make things worse. She was visiting the nurse's office multiple times a day as well as the principal's office. (Thankfully the kids all love the principal--Mr. Goodbar--and Sadie seemed to prefer to be with him over her own teacher.)
You can imagine the anxiety this created in me and I couldn't get much information out of Sadie as to what was going on--she would say she didn't like her teacher and wanted to be in the other 1st grade class but she wouldn't elaborate at all. I just couldn't figure out what was going on or the right way to handle it all. And each time she went to the nurse's office and they'd call me, I would insist that she go back to class because I didn't want to teach her that she could just complain of a sick tummy and then get to come home.
I am quite sure that during that week, I was on the nurse's speed dial and even Wyatt's class was getting used to Sadie coming in 5-6 times during the day to get a hug from her brother. (One of the things I was so thankful for--the teachers and the school were SO accommodating to help us get through this and would allow Sadie to go to Wyatt's class whenever she wanted. Mr. Goodbar even mentioned what a great big brother Wyatt had been through all this, as one time Sadie was in his office and he called Wyatt down and he immediately gave Sadie a big hug when he walked in. It was great to hear this--but also a big shocker as Wyatt does not care much for physical touch and will rarely give her a genuine hug....EVER!)
Everything came to a head that Thursday when Sadie spent the majority of the day between the nurse's office and Mr. Goodbar's office. He finally called me around 1pm and said he was making the call that she needed to come home. My initial thought was that we were giving up, but I respected his decision and he said, "I think she just needs a little bit of grace right now. Today is clearly not going to work and I think we just need to call it a day and try again tomorrow." But he also shared with me on the phone that Sadie had shared with him that she was afraid of her teacher, Mrs. Erickson. He noticed that Sadie was fine in her other classes (PE, Art, Music, etc) but as soon as she saw Mrs. Erickson, panic would set in. We finally knew what was going on but still hadn't figured out exactly why.
I took Sadie home that day and we had a very lengthy talk about why we need to go to school, what we are missing if we are home, dealing with people who we may not particularly care for, etc. We came home and she just crashed after our talk. The poor girl was so tired--from the emotions, lack of sleep, lack of food, etc. and I think her principal was right that this was exactly what she needed.
We went back to school to pick Wyatt up around 3pm and Sadie wanted to park and walk to get Wyatt (as opposed to driving through the car pool lane). She was so excited to say 'hi' to all her friends, as if she hadn't been having such a hard time at school. But then Mrs. Erickson came out and I asked Sadie if she wanted to say 'hi' and she refused. I was beginning to see a bit of what was going on but still didn't know why Sadie was so afraid. I let the kids all play on the playground for a bit and spent about 20 minutes talking with Mrs. Erickson. She had met with Mr. Goodbar that afternoon after Sadie left and honestly, she felt just awful! She's been teaching 1st grade for over 20 years and has seen just about everything, however, she's never had a student afraid of her! But she did have a good idea of what was going on----apparently there was (is) a student in Sadie's class that has some behavioral issues and Mrs. Erickson knew that going in to the school year. And Mrs. Erickson knew that in order to have control of the classroom, there would need to be some firm discipline up front particularly with this child.
As we stood there and talked, it was all starting to make sense. Because Sadie didn't know the background information, it appeared to Sadie as though Mrs. Erickson was just being really strict with a particular student and Sadie, being the bleeding-heart that she is, felt so bad for the child and at the same time afraid that the same thing would happen to her!
We finished talking and then Sadie said she wanted to show me around her classroom.....PERFECT!! This was the perfect time for us to spend time in her classroom together, just hanging out, with Mrs. Erickson in there and hopefully give an opportunity for Sadie to see that she is a normal woman who wants Sadie to learn and flourish!
Our time in the classroom was great ....and all the things she showed me in her room proved to me that despite all the time she had spent crying and being sad, she had still obviously learned something! And Mrs Erickson was great because she just sat at her desk and would say something occasionally to Sadie but she didn't push any interaction. After about 40 minutes of being in the room, Mrs. Erickson came over to us and showed Sadie some fun stuff they were going to be doing the following today. Once she could tell that Sadie was doing ok, she said, "Sadie, can I talk with you for a minute?"
Sadie walked over to her and I stood right by her side, while Mrs. Erickson got to Sadie's eye-level and took her hands in her own and said, "Sadie, I just have to tell you that I am so sorry if I did anything to hurt you or cause you pain. I want you to remember that I am a sinner, just like you. And I need a Savior to help me though life. I don't have it all figured out and I'm not perfect. But I know that Jesus has forgiven me and I'm asking you if you would forgive me also."
It was all I could do to not completely lose it and break down crying. It was the confirmation I needed that we were at the right place. When all the difficulties started to arise and began affecting so much of Sadie's life, my first response was to question why the Lord had so clearly (we thought) lead us to New Life. But I was quickly reminded through my BSF lesson that very week that just because the Lord leads/call us to do something DOES NOT mean it will always be easier or without challenges. And I was so thankful that Sadie was able to witness an adult in her life apologizing to her!!
Without going on for too long, I assumed that that entire encounter was just the fix we needed. So when we got to school the next morning and she almost threw a flew-blown tantrum over having to stay, I was quickly feeling defeated. But she did end up making it through that day and we could celebrate because it was finally friday.
When Sunday evening rolled around, the anxiety started to set in again and honestly, I was just on my knees constantly over this issue. And boy did the Lord answer my prayers. When we got to school on Monday morning and Sadie didn't want to go in, I walked her up to her classroom and, as her eyes began to well up with tears, one of the girls in her class (who also happens to be a new student at New Life this year), smiled at Sadie and confidently said, "C'mon Sadie, we can do this!" And all the girls in her class would continue to do similar things throughout the days.
Each day Sadie made progress and things got a little better. But as my brother-in-law reminded me when I was getting a bit frustrated with the speed of the progress, "Rome wasn't built in a day"....and I definitely needed that reminder!
I am thrilled to report that we no longer have the anxieties or fears and Sadie does look forward to going to school. But we have also learned just how easily affected Sadie is by the looks, tone of voice and demeanor of not only her teachers, but also any adults in her life. And its been quite the learning process for all of us, but thankfully we have learned from it and hopefully Sadie has as well! We spent many a nights praying and reading God's Word and praying some more! And for that I am very thankful.
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